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Steve Jobs: Smooth Criminal

Steve's a smooth guy, we know this. Witness his near-flawless execution of the keynotes. Marvel at how he keeps a straight face when asked about secret projects. Not that he always keeps his cool, but I certainly wouldn't want to play poker with the guy. The criminal part? Well, I'm not talking about stock options, I'm talking about crimes Steve has committed in front of us all, or admitted to publicly.

So remember the prank call to Starbucks during the keynote? Word on the street back in my school daze: prank calling is illegal! Of course, there's a right way and a wrong way to prank call (ask the Jerky Boys). Steve was wise to end that call before someone started pouring the coffee...

Now think back to November 2006, when Universal Music Group's CEO made the bold statement that iPod users are thieves, or, at least, their iPods are full of stolen music (I was just holding it for a friend, officer, honest!). Well hey, maybe he's right. I still don't see the Beatles on iTunes, and yet, somehow Steve had them on his iPhone... So Steve, do we get a copy of Limewire on our iPhones or what? You sneaky devil!

Lastly, don't forget Jobsy's hacker roots. OK, Woz was the real hacker, or prankster in this case. Steve's clicker failing provided everyone in the room with a trip down memory lane. Back when the FCC didn't really worry about a couple of college kids jamming the airwaves and wreaking havoc on nerds in the common room... And then there's the association with a certain Captain Crunch, aka John Draper, and tinkering with Woz's Blue box. That was certainly a crime, although one that was apparently never pursued (despite Draper's arrest and conviction). Boy Steve, what other criminals do you hang with today? Are they as smooth as you? I forgive ya, as long as I can call for free on the iPhone by emitting a 2600 Hz tone...

[Asbestos claim: this is tagged as humor, please make a note of it]

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Humor Steve Jobs

Steve's a smooth guy, we know this. Witness his near-flawless execution of the keynotes. Marvel at how he keeps a straight face when asked...