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Rumor Roundup: A confirmation bias the size of Greenland

Light-up logo rumors for iPhone 6 likely have a more mundane explanation (9to5 Mac)

Let me save you a click: the mundane explanation is that the logo will act as a window for radio signals. You know, exactly like the iPad. Earth-shattering analysis here.

Rumor: Rear shell for 4.7" 'iPhone 6' shown with inlaid Apple logo in new photos (AppleInsider)

AppleInsider does some CSI-style analysis on yet another iPhone backplate leak and initially reaches the same conclusion as 9to5 Mac: the cutout for the Apple logo is probably there to let wireless signals through more easily than a full-on metal enclosure. AppleInsider could've stopped right there with its dignity intact, but unfortunately it had to throw in a stupid paragraph speculating about how it might have something to do with "the widely-rumored inclusion of NFC."

Let me stop you right there. NFC has been a rumored iPhone feature since before the iPhone 4s was unveiled. Guess how many Apple devices have NFC now? Still zero. Still and always zero, every single year, no matter how wide the rumors get.

OH NO... This could seriously be the WORST iPhone 6 leak yet (BGR)

OH NO... what could this linkbaiting turd of a headline possibly be referring to?!

From the article: "A new leak from uSwitch supposedly shows the aluminum shell from the iPhone 6 with the Apple logo inlaid for the first time. More importantly, however, those thick plastic inserts are still present on the back of the phone. Will future iPhone 6 and iPhone Air owners have to deal with these unsightly plastic strips on the backs of their phones? We won't know anything for sure until Apple unveils the device later this year, but keep your fingers crossed."

Oh, I get it. We're meant to get all hot and bothered about iPhone parts leaks that are almost certainly not representative of what final, production devices will actually look like. Sure, we'll get right on that, BGR.

WSJ: Apple prepares record number of 80 million 4.7-inch and 5.5-inch iPhones for production (9to5 Mac)

As usual, I must invoke the standard Wall Street Journal clause: we are much more than 48 hours away from an Apple event, so this WSJ-sourced rumor is most likely either partially or wholly untrue and therefore isn't worth paying attention to.

Here's what analysts expect Apple to announce today: revenue up 8.5 percent, earnings up 18 percent (9to5 Mac)

This should be fun! Let's see what the analysts' averaged-out predictions were for Apple's financial performance.

  • Year-over-year revenue growth: 8.5 percent
  • Earnings up 18.1 percent
  • iPhone sales up 14.5 percent
  • Mac sales up 4.7 percent
  • iPad sales down 1.3 percent

Now let's compare that with the numbers Apple actually announced.

  • Year-over-year revenue growth: 6 percent
  • Earnings up 11.6 percent
  • iPhone sales up 12.7 percent
  • Mac sales up 18 percent
  • iPad sales down 9.2 percent

...nope. The analysts weren't even remotely close. Big surprise.

Questionable Claim of 30% Slimmer 'iPad Mini Air' Launching in Late 2014 (MacRumors)

"We know this rumor is total BS -- we know it for a fact -- but we'll post it anyway, call it 'questionable' and watch the pageviews roll right in."

Images Depict Possible iPhone 6 Lightning/Headphone Flex Cable, Rear Shell (MacRumors)

The contents of this "leak": the same ribbon cable we saw last week, and the same rear enclosure we've seen dozens of times. Are you not entertained?!

Amusingly, BGR had the audacity to call this one of the biggest iPhone 6 leaks we've seen so far. I'm not kidding, they really said that. There's being divorced from reality on one hand, and there's hiring a hitman from Uzbekistan to murder reality and bury it in the Nevada desert on the other hand.

Apple 'tentatively' plans mid-September iPhone event as iOS 8 nears completion (9to5 Mac)

"Apple fired our best sources, so we'll call this rumor 'tentative' just in case it doesn't pan out."

Alternative take: "I am convinced that Apple will hold off on an iPhone event until October because of this leak."

OS X Yosemite planned for late Oct. as Apple preps 4K desktop & 12-inch Retina MacBook (9to5 Mac)

There's plenty of delicious claim chowder to chew on in this post. The stuff about OS X Yosemite's launch date is the least preposterous portion of this post. 9to5 Mac's continued pimping of the "Retina display MacBook" rumor is getting more amusing as time goes on; the only sources for this rumor are an analyst whose track record is about 50/50 on a good day and random posts from Asian forums.

9to5 Mac came out with a similar hardware wishlist for the October 2013 event, and almost none of it panned out. Fool us once, shame on you... I forget the rest.

Apple reportedly discussing mobile wallet plans with credit card companies, may launch with iPhone 6 (9to5 Mac)

Yet more rumors that Apple is planning on rolling out mobile payment services. This is another perennial rumor that has failed to pan out year after year. I'm starting to wonder if these guys keep these stories in an archive somewhere and dust them off once every 12 months for their brief, stupid moments in the sun. Like Christmas decorations, if Christmas decorations drooled and randomly beat themselves against the tree and one another.

Major case makers banking on leaked iPhone 6 design (9to5 Mac)

This story is huge news, because never once in the history of Apple products have case makers bet big based on rumors and lost big when those rumors failed to pan out.

Oh, wait. That happens all the time? Never mind, then.

Apple Launching 5.5-Inch iPhone 6 After 4.7-Inch Version to Avoid Competition Between Two Models (MacRumors)

If that headline sounds like the stupidest thing you've heard all week, there's a reason: Digitimes is the source.

Naturally, MacRumors doesn't bother mentioning the publication's apocalyptically terrible track record for Apple rumors. I guess we're supposed to have forgotten by now that Digitimes is the tech world's equivalent of a horoscope, as written by a not particularly clever and constantly drunk bonobo, as translated by a researcher with no social life to speak of and a confirmation bias the size of Greenland.

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