The world is abuzz with news about the iPod nano. People love them (they seem to love the black ones a little more), but I have uncovered shocking news, dear readers.The iPod nano is a sham. They haven't made the iPod smaller; they've made Steve Jobs much, much larger.
We have all fallen victim to his Steveness' famed Reality Distortion Field, though this time around it has been used for sinister purposes. Apple R&D elves have long been working on a device that would increase Steve's size so that his body could contain his legendary ego. The process went without a hitch, and Steve Jobs MACRO was to be introduced at the special media event.
Behind the stage, just before the media event was to start, Steve MACRO strode gigantic nervous strides. It seems that not only were his physical attributes enlarged, but his mercurial nature was amplified to the tenth power. He turned to Jonathan Ive and screamed, 'Small is the new gigantic!! Why didn't you tell me?!' Ives was stunned.
'FETCH ME A 60 GIG iPOD,' Steve MACRO bellowed. Ive scrambled across the stage with a 60GB iPod which he placed in his giant boss's hands.
'Ok, here's what we're going to do: I'll take this 60 gig iPod and introduce it as an iPod tiny. No, that doesn't work. Umm.. iPod littlest. That's crap. I've got it, the iPod nano! '
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
9-09-2005 @ 8:04AM
Mark said...
BEAUTIFUL!
i read this out loud to one of my co-workers and he said... "Steve Jobs didn't get bigger... DID HE?"
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9-09-2005 @ 8:19AM
Joakim said...
This one's going on my top 10 list! Thanks Scotty!
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9-09-2005 @ 8:42AM
Anil Khedun said...
Kinda funny. :-) One thing though, it's Ive, not "Ives".
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9-09-2005 @ 9:13AM
Al said...
See, I hear "iPod nano" and I keep thinking, "iPod flea?"
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9-09-2005 @ 9:56AM
Cacho said...
Don't you guys get tired of this whole "Steveness" thing? There's better people out there to admire. Let me know when he donates a couple of billions for Aids research and maybe I shut-up, but until then in my eyes he's just a smart guy making lots of money without wearing a suit.
Ah, the freedom of speach!
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9-09-2005 @ 10:12AM
madtracer said...
yawn.
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9-09-2005 @ 12:31PM
John Comeaux said...
Loved it!
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9-09-2005 @ 12:48PM
jake said...
Cacho, your sense of humour is broken, get an iPod!
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9-09-2005 @ 12:50PM
icerabbit said...
LOL :)
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9-09-2005 @ 1:14PM
Adam said...
Go back to bed Scotty... You're blogging in your sleep again.
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9-09-2005 @ 1:37PM
Scott McNulty said...
When did people on here start calling me Scotty?
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9-09-2005 @ 2:36PM
Penginkun said...
I'm waiting for the special Robin Williams edition. You know, the iPod Nanoo Nanoo.
Yeah, that was pretty lame.
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9-09-2005 @ 2:44PM
narco said...
When I went to the local Apple store the other day to look at the Nano, the guy behind the counter made a Mork & Mindy joke after telling me they didn't have any. I almost wanted to tell him that most people wouldn't get the joke and that they would just think he's old. Poor guy.
Fishes,
narco.
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9-09-2005 @ 9:29PM
Thad said...
"When did people on here start calling me Scotty?"
When did I ever call you "Scott"?
Very amusing post, by the way!
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9-10-2005 @ 6:38AM
NxJay said...
@Cacho
Read his bio. iCon. Steve's a legend. Sure we're throwing money at him but would microsoft have ever been able to make something as cool as the nano?
Don't think so somehow
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9-13-2005 @ 5:08PM
andy said...
Best TUAW post *ever*
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9-15-2005 @ 2:44PM
Martijn Stegink said...
Great article, howevert Penginkun's 'lame' joke made me laugh better.
As long as Steve makes this stuff I'll be happy trowing money at him :)
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9-15-2005 @ 2:49PM
Martijn Stegink said...
Great article, howevert Penginkun's 'lame' joke made me laugh better.
As long as Steve makes this stuff I'll be happy trowing money at him :)
Reply