iPod? or Fruitcake? Let the facts speak for themselves.
10 Reasons why iPods beat Fruitcakes as Holiday Gifts
- You can't play your music on a fruitcake.
- Inserting earbuds into your fruitcake? Makes them all sticky and gooey.
- iPods come in many colors and flavors. Fruitcakes are...brown.
- You can't play video games on a fruitcake. (Or a Zune.)
- Fruitcakes do not support smart playlists.
- You can't really accessorize a fruitcake. Belkin doesn't offer a "fruitcake" section in its online store.
- You can't watch the latest episode of Battlestar on a fruitcake.
- Fruitcakes don't fit into your pocket.
- Fruitcakes are unsuitable items to bring along with you to your workouts.
- iPods? No crumbs.
10 Reasons why Fruitcakes beat iPods as Holiday Gifts
- iPod price $249. Fruitcake price $21.99.
- Fruitcakes need no frivolous accessories. They're usable exactly as produced.
- You're less likely to waste your spending money at iTunes with a fruitcake.
- Walk around wearing an iPod and everyone yawns. Walk around wearing a fruitcake and you're a trendsetter.
- iPod: 2.5-inch color display. Fruitcake: 10-inch multifaceted-crystalized-fruit display.
- You can't use an iPod as a football. Or a door stop.
- Fruitcakes have no batteries to replace.
- iPod: 7,500 songs. Fruitcake: the song in your heart, and the antacids in your medicine cabinet.
- You can't call your enemy "nutty as an iPod". Well, you can. But nobody's going to understand you.
- In all likelihood, your fruitcake will still be usable three years from now.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
11-30-2006 @ 2:51PM
Donald Burr said...
I'd hardly call a three-year-old fruitcake "usable." Perhaps as a bludgeon or a boat anchor, but certainly not in its original capacity as a foodstuff.
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11-30-2006 @ 4:14PM
Marvo said...
This brought a smile to my face. :-)
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11-30-2006 @ 4:24PM
Jon said...
#3: You *could* still eat it, theoretically. I can't imagine it would be barrels of fun though.
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11-30-2006 @ 4:37PM
Richard Blumberg said...
The most important difference is that fruitcakes are universally loved.
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11-30-2006 @ 5:53PM
Reg said...
My initial thought was that whoever wrote this article was a bit of a fruitcake themselves!
:)
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11-30-2006 @ 6:35PM
Kevin said...
You could use an iPod as a football or door stop, it's just not recommended.
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11-30-2006 @ 8:50PM
derek said...
are you on pot? dumb ass.
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11-30-2006 @ 9:34PM
Joel van der Veen said...
Cheers for sticking up for both fruitcakes and iPods. :D
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11-30-2006 @ 11:54PM
PC said...
What the hell?
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12-01-2006 @ 3:31AM
mauve said...
Congratulations Erica! I was almost wincing as I clicked through to the comments section, expecting to see you flamed to a crisp by the usual crop of lame whingers that exercise their pubescent personality deficiencies whenever they come on here.
Its good to see there's still a place for a bit of off the wall nuttiness on here. I don't know how you got away with it, but I'm glad that you did!
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12-01-2006 @ 9:02AM
mcewen said...
Fruitcakes that are three years old [or older] are the best - fed with brandy at regular intervals. It's an art not a science, and a tickle of the taste buds. Cheers
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12-01-2006 @ 1:15PM
Tom said...
Now how about a top ten reasons why fruitcakes are better than Zunes!!!
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12-04-2006 @ 1:48PM
Donald Burr said...
This just in: Fruitcake sales top Zune sales on Amazon.com!!
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