Skip to Content

TUAW's Top X Things To Do if You Can't Attend WWDC '07

by David Chartier Jun 10th 2007 at 12:30PM



Developers and other Mac notables are descending once again on San Francisco for WWDC 2007. It is sure to be a week of exciting product announcements (not just from Apple, mind you), parties galore and elbow rubbing in a way only the Mac community can lay claim to.

But what if you can't go?

Fear not, oh devoted reader of ours, for we have a 10-step plan that is sure to shake the "can't get to WWDC" blues. Who cares if you can't join the keynote audience Monday morning in giving Steve Jobs a standing ovation just for walking on stage? And who needs to go to the Delicious Generation party! It's just going to be a bunch of drunk Mac notables standing on tables and singing Daisy Bell together. Besides, the t-shirts we're giving away at our TUAW meetup are gonna be way cooler, but if you can't attend that... why go to WWDC at all?

If you're stuck at home and unable to acquire your wife's credit card number, our list of suggestions is for you. Besides, these are gonna be, like, way funner than anything happening in San Francisco this week anyway:
  1. Take chalk, umbrella, sleeping bag, get an early start on that camp-out for June 29th
  2. Furiously refresh Engadget and MacRumors for live coverage of Jobs' keynote
  3. Seek out every developer's blog you've ever bought software from and ask them if you can share their room or just sleep on the floor if you buy a second license
  4. Ignore the live coverage and don't check your RSS feeds so you can have all the excitement of playing Keynote Bingo Monday afternoon with what will likely be a pixelated and barely-working QuickTime stream
  5. Collect apple cores, attach to puppeteering rigs, put on a show to convince family that this is what Steve meant by 'Core Animation'
  6. Get VMware running Linux inside Parallels running Vista on your Mac Pro; leave your body and watch your own head explode
  7. Try to come up with slightly weird pronunciations of 'Leopard' to memorialize Steve's rendition of OS X 10.2 as "Jag-wire"
  8. Console yourself with the knowledge that this year the Apple party is in San Francisco, so there's no chance you'd get to go to the Company Store anyway
  9. Buy an iPiggy Bank and start saving for Macworld '08, because #3 isn't a very good plan to begin with
  10. Phone your local Apple Store on the hour, every hour to ask "did you get [it] in yet?" Have a friend make the calls once the store recognizes your voice and/or blocks your number
And there you have it: 10 great ways to entertain yourself if - like many of us - you'll be watching the coming week's festivities from a distance.

View Tags

Related Stories

Categories

Humor Cult of Mac WWDC

Developers and other Mac notables are descending once again on San Francisco for WWDC 2007. It is sure to be a week of exciting product...
 

Add a Comment

Sign in »
*0 / 3000 Character Maximum

14 Comments

Filter by:
John

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Ill be at SCHOOL! NEED WWDC, NEED WWDC, MUST INFILTRATE LIBRARY FOR INTERNET, PC SO SLOW, WINDOWS 98,NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. :(

June 10 2007 at 10:03 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Thomas

I'm going to do #2. :)

June 10 2007 at 6:42 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
ThunkDifferent.com

What is with all the negative energy on this blogpost, lighten up, and like Dave said, smell the roses.

June 10 2007 at 5:00 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
mike

Seek out every developer's blog you've ever bought software from and ask them if you can share their room or just sleep on the floor if you buy a second license
--

Bought... software....?

June 10 2007 at 4:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jon

I do #2 in conjunction with Firefox and the ReloadEvery add-on (automatically refreshes the page every x seconds). Dead useful.

June 10 2007 at 4:34 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Peter

2.5 Subscribe to the Macrumors Twitter feed. then spend all day loitering at the local apple store waiting for an update. When you get one, ask anyone working there if they have the new product in stock/ ask them to explain in detail how it works. When the kick you out, stop everyone entering the store and ask them if they know anything more about the keynote today. If something real big comes up, run around the area screaming out the news for everyone to hear. if someone tells you to be quite, tell them they hate Apple and obviously should find the nearest tall object to leap from.

June 10 2007 at 4:18 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jason

Loved your list, Dave! You brought a much needed laugh to my rough day.

Greetings from Pamplona, Spain!

June 10 2007 at 4:05 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
David Chartier

Guys, 'funner' was meant to be a silly and stupid "well we don't need them anyway!" bit.

It's a post that's mean to be silly and hopefully funny. Take a moment and smell some roses.

June 10 2007 at 3:31 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
greaseMonkey

#4 - It's amazing that you defend the poor writing of the article on an "accredited" newsblog and attack the person who pointed it out.

June 10 2007 at 3:16 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Aaron MCGrattan

No. 11
get a bloody life.
christ on a bike

June 10 2007 at 2:40 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Buy an ad here

Hot Apps on TUAW

Tweets

© 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.