Filed under: Humor, Cult of Mac, WWDC
TUAW's Top X Things To Do if You Can't Attend WWDC '07
Developers and other Mac notables are descending once again on San Francisco for WWDC 2007. It is sure to be a week of exciting product announcements (not just from Apple, mind you), parties galore and elbow rubbing in a way only the Mac community can lay claim to.
But what if you can't go?
Fear not, oh devoted reader of ours, for we have a 10-step plan that is sure to shake the "can't get to WWDC" blues. Who cares if you can't join the keynote audience Monday morning in giving Steve Jobs a standing ovation just for walking on stage? And who needs to go to the Delicious Generation party! It's just going to be a bunch of drunk Mac notables standing on tables and singing Daisy Bell together. Besides, the t-shirts we're giving away at our TUAW meetup are gonna be way cooler, but if you can't attend that... why go to WWDC at all?
If you're stuck at home and unable to acquire your wife's credit card number, our list of suggestions is for you. Besides, these are gonna be, like, way funner than anything happening in San Francisco this week anyway:
- Take chalk, umbrella, sleeping bag, get an early start on that camp-out for June 29th
- Furiously refresh Engadget and MacRumors for live coverage of Jobs' keynote
- Seek out every developer's blog you've ever bought software from and ask them if you can share their room or just sleep on the floor if you buy a second license
- Ignore the live coverage and don't check your RSS feeds so you can have all the excitement of playing Keynote Bingo Monday afternoon with what will likely be a pixelated and barely-working QuickTime stream
- Collect apple cores, attach to puppeteering rigs, put on a show to convince family that this is what Steve meant by 'Core Animation'
- Get VMware running Linux inside Parallels running Vista on your Mac Pro; leave your body and watch your own head explode
- Try to come up with slightly weird pronunciations of 'Leopard' to memorialize Steve's rendition of OS X 10.2 as "Jag-wire"
- Console yourself with the knowledge that this year the Apple party is in San Francisco, so there's no chance you'd get to go to the Company Store anyway
- Buy an iPiggy Bank and start saving for Macworld '08, because #3 isn't a very good plan to begin with
- Phone your local Apple Store on the hour, every hour to ask "did you get [it] in yet?" Have a friend make the calls once the store recognizes your voice and/or blocks your number
![TUAW [Cafepress]](http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/www.tuaw.com/media/tuaw-cafepress-promo.png)
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
ThunkDifferent.com said 1:16PM on 6-10-2007
Maybe number 11 could be just assume the best and start buying .mac family packs for friends and relatives.
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Andre said 1:18PM on 6-10-2007
Nice list. :P
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tim said 2:19PM on 6-10-2007
did you seriously TYPE 'funner?'
are you joking? dont you edit your stuff? are you 5?
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Zachary Hinchliffe said 2:34PM on 6-10-2007
#3: This coming from a guy who doesn't capitalize and forgot an apostrophe.
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Aaron MCGrattan said 2:41PM on 6-10-2007
No. 11
get a bloody life.
christ on a bike
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greaseMonkey said 3:17PM on 6-10-2007
#4 - It's amazing that you defend the poor writing of the article on an "accredited" newsblog and attack the person who pointed it out.
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Dave Chartier said 3:31PM on 6-10-2007
Guys, 'funner' was meant to be a silly and stupid "well we don't need them anyway!" bit.
It's a post that's mean to be silly and hopefully funny. Take a moment and smell some roses.
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Kronen said 4:10PM on 6-10-2007
Loved your list, Dave! You brought a much needed laugh to my rough day.
Greetings from Pamplona, Spain!
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Peter said 4:18PM on 6-10-2007
2.5 Subscribe to the Macrumors Twitter feed. then spend all day loitering at the local apple store waiting for an update. When you get one, ask anyone working there if they have the new product in stock/ ask them to explain in detail how it works. When the kick you out, stop everyone entering the store and ask them if they know anything more about the keynote today. If something real big comes up, run around the area screaming out the news for everyone to hear. if someone tells you to be quite, tell them they hate Apple and obviously should find the nearest tall object to leap from.
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Jon said 4:36PM on 6-10-2007
I do #2 in conjunction with Firefox and the ReloadEvery add-on (automatically refreshes the page every x seconds). Dead useful.
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mike said 4:55PM on 6-10-2007
Seek out every developer's blog you've ever bought software from and ask them if you can share their room or just sleep on the floor if you buy a second license
--
Bought... software....?
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ThunkDifferent.com said 5:01PM on 6-10-2007
What is with all the negative energy on this blogpost, lighten up, and like Dave said, smell the roses.
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Thomas said 7:23PM on 6-10-2007
I'm going to do #2. :)
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John said 10:04PM on 6-10-2007
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Ill be at SCHOOL! NEED WWDC, NEED WWDC, MUST INFILTRATE LIBRARY FOR INTERNET, PC SO SLOW, WINDOWS 98,NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. :(
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