Do you suffer from 'appiphilia'?

Do you download applications you don't even use? Do you stay up late, obsessively logging in to iTunes? If so, you may have appiphilia.
But don't worry: Appiphilia is treatable with Appien, from the makers of Extensionil and Kaleidoscept.
Talk to your doctor about Appien. For some patients, it can reduce the joy associated with buying new applications, meaning less time on the App Store, and more time doing the things that you love: like checking email or using Maps.
Only your doctor can diagnose appiphilia. If you spent more than $30 on applications in the last week, there's a good chance Appien can help.
Appien isn't for everyone. Side effects include nausea, projectile Zune ownership, and dry mouth. Tell your doctor if backing up your iPhone takes longer than four hours, since this can be a sign of a rare complication that requires immediate medical attention.
Talk to your doctor about Appien. Appien. Regain control of your iPhone.
[Via The Los Angeles Times.]

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
This is Apples Market Now said 10:29AM on 9-01-2008
lmao
Steven colbert:
"iphone has a kill switch? I should have bought a zune, they can't kill me, or do anything else.
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Blake said 10:41AM on 9-01-2008
That was such a bad article that I'm unsubscribing from your feed.
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mex said 10:43AM on 9-01-2008
I hope this will make you also stop to write comments (eih just jocking man :) )
Alex Ross said 10:43AM on 9-01-2008
I'm with Blake, that was the last straw. I'm done with TUAW, and I'm not even kidding. I'm tired of finding nothing but garbage has been posted since my last visit.
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tim75 said 11:01AM on 9-01-2008
jesus, it's labor day, you probably need this Appien anyway.
Robert Palmer said 12:12PM on 9-01-2008
Thanks for the two extra pageviews for your comment before you left, though. Really. Means a lot.
This is Apples Market Now said 12:13PM on 9-01-2008
stop writing comments then you idiot
Luigi193 said 10:57AM on 9-01-2008
LOL... I liked it
ITS CALLED WEEKEND(or in this case holiday) NEWS!
Its better then nothing...
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Tim said 11:01AM on 9-01-2008
test
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scrumptjack said 11:02AM on 9-01-2008
WTF? Let's have some context!! Or no rubbish and just proper news
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caleb said 11:04AM on 9-01-2008
I have to admit, I only clicked through from my feed reader to see what disparaging remarks there would be here in response to the lackluster post.
Anyway, I won't leave you TUAW. Not for this. I'd be more likely to leave you for for the nauseatingly painful scrolling I experience when I view this site (and only this site) from my Windows PC with Firefox.
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Tim Brazer said 11:05AM on 9-01-2008
Ok, the article wasn't that bad.
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Tim said 11:06AM on 9-01-2008
test
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Brandon said 11:46AM on 9-01-2008
Did anyone notice that the background is Win XP default? lol
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Neil said 11:50AM on 9-01-2008
Best default wallpaper in history IMO.
Neil said 11:50AM on 9-01-2008
Has anyone actually bought ANYTHING from the App Store yet?
There really isn't much there, and what is worth having is free.
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heytpn said 12:55PM on 9-01-2008
Unfortunately, I have. You see, I have this disorder that was recently discovered, called Appiphilia. Appiphilia is only curable with the taking away of the internet. I've spent $15 in the last week, and countless free Apps.
Matthew said 11:55AM on 9-01-2008
trash.
weak trash.
a total waste of time.
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giov said 11:58AM on 9-01-2008
loosen up peoples!
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jonathan ober said 12:36PM on 9-01-2008
I agree with the above about poster about loosening up...gosh if you don't/can't get a joke maybe you shouldn't be on tuaw. It's a better place when crappy comments and humorless people leave.
die working stiffs without a sense of humor...die.
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