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John Mayer's calls to Steve Jobs no longer returned

John, John. OK, dude, behind the sensitive rock star/guitar god front, we know you're a not-so-secret Mac geek. Sure, you jammed out to Message In A Bottle with the Police at Live Earth, but wasn't it just as big a thrill to be onstage for a legendary Stevenote? Wasn't it good, John? Good enough for you?

Apparently Mr. "I'm Going To Serenade The Macworld Faithful" has been sneaking around the country with some other company's smartphone. Sure, Blackberry might sponsor your summer tour, and even provide some exclusive photos and video, but we know what kind of mobile device you're keeping in the pocket closest to your heart, with your guitar picks... and its name begins with 'i' and ends with 'one,' if you know what I'm talking about.

*sniff* Two-timing creep. I'm taking all the photos of you down from my locker RIGHT NOW.

Note: Comments have pointed out the striking similarity between this story and Fake Steve's take on the same issue. While I can think of nobody better to flatter by imitation, the deal is this: I wrote this post very early Wednesday morning (about 1:30 am ET), FSJ's post not yet published. My post was published at 11 am ET on Wednesday, and I hadn't read FSJ's post... which is timestamped 6:58 pm, Wednesday 7/11. Even if FSJ's on UK time, that's still well after my post went live. So... let's just go with "great comedy minds think alike" and call it a day, mmmkay? (Much love, FSJ.)

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