Filed under: Humor
Mark 3/21 on your calendar for the Apple Backlash
Thank goodness there are still genuine journalists out there who are willing to cover the important stories that nobody else bothers to investigate. According to vestigial organ The Onion, Apple Inc.'s goodwill with customers -- already stretched thin by iPhone price cuts and Leopard delays -- is bound to hit a limit sooner or later, and the smart money is on next spring. March 20-22, in fact, are the days pinpointed by Wall Street analysts for the high-flying company to lose the faith of its notoriously loyal consumer base.From to the story in this week's issue:
"At the current rate, we believe that at this time a sea change will occur in which people will look down at their glossy white or black devices and feel a sense of embarrassment and gullibility," Goldman Sachs analyst Steven Shore said. "They will realize that, despite all the sleek design, they got caught up in a wave of hype that made them shell out additional hundreds of dollars for options and features they didn't need. Until then, I would like to point out that my iPhone is awesome."
Despite past positive coverage from The Onion of Apple's products, including a prescient piece on iPhone obsolescence and a remarkable and largely unnoticed meta-product-launch-launch, it seems that the stories on the fruit-flavored company coming from this multi-layered paper are going to have a bitter, lachrymose edge from now on.
For our readers outside the USA, please note that The Onion is a parody newspaper.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Aloysius Snuffleupagus said 2:16PM on 10-04-2007
Thought this was pretty funny. The Onion has been getting better after a really bad dry spell. It used to be brilliant.
Truth is, there will never be a real backlash because people like me will keep throwing money at Apple in spite of the rather shoddy attitude of late.
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Jef_Cash said 2:35PM on 10-04-2007
"Truth is, there will never be a real backlash because people like me will keep throwing money at Apple in spite of the rather shoddy attitude of late."
Speak for yourself. The backlash has already started for me. Once the shift from Apple Computer to Apple inc began, it's obvious that the Cupertino gang doesn't care what its userbase thinks of them. I won't be one of those suckers. Throwing money at companies that seemingly despite their customers is no different than voting for a president that... nevermind.
Where can I turn in Fanboi badge?
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ant said 2:36PM on 10-04-2007
...and people like me won't. I returned my iPod Touch because of it's relative uselessness beyond music and video. It's a brilliantly designed, but artificially crippled, device.
The Onion nicely picks up on the fact that Apple's core value is based on both form and function. The genius of OS X was not only its simplicity to use, but in its flexibility and openness to future development. Without functionality, I believe that Apple will slowly lose its loyal user base.
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Aloysius Snuffleupagus said 2:52PM on 10-04-2007
I guess my point was that, in spite of some stupid and frustrating moves (i.e. the rapid price cut & the 1.1.1 lock out), the iPhone is still way cooler than the Treo I had beforehand and pretty much everything out there. I'd be hard pressed to go back. And it's always sort of that way with Apple products: they always come up short on features and flexibility, but always do what they do head and shoulders better than anyone else. For someone who enjoys aesthetics as much as I do, that always seems to win out. Of course, that's me. I can see why others would ditch Apple. It's just that there seems to be a lot of suckers like me.
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osalom said 3:02PM on 10-04-2007
Apple is already loosing this once loyal costumer...
Let's see: I can't get an iphone unless I get to like AT&T... In which case I won't have VoIP because that hurts AT&T's business... I will also be unale to connect my laptop using my iphone via bluetooth to the Internet because that also hurt's AT&T's business..
So Apple cares more about AT&T than me and other loyal costumers, great for them!
Also, my new artificially crippled ipod classic won't accept my recently purchased composite video cable fro Apple itself because they want more money and now I have to spend 40 bucks ti get a compatibel cable...
Meanwhile old Zune costumers get a free upgrade that adds new functionality to their devices
SJ seems to always loose it when close to nailing things...
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Ch3mZ said 5:55PM on 10-05-2007
Posted at 2:35PM on Oct 4th 2007 by Jef_Cash
I totally agree!
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Edward said 4:26PM on 10-04-2007
The new iPods also have been struck by his Lords new ideas I think.
The iPod games that can't be transfered to a new device. What's that all about?!? I have bought the new iPod nano and gave away my old one at the same time. But after little use I think it's so flacky device, over-sensitive scroll wheel and it doesn't support playing audiobooks or podcasts when using Nike+. Coverflow, sure it's cool, but the device feels like a step back when it comes to true functionality. Can really ask for the old device back either...I will definitely think two, three even four times before I buy an Apple again...
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qjkqj said 3:42PM on 10-04-2007
Apple sold out to PC culture--to PC users the likes of TUAW and the vast majority of its readership. It was already too late by the time the iPod went PC-compatible.
GTFO my Mac, switcheurs.
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Kevin said 3:45PM on 10-04-2007
Given the growth numbers in Macs, laptops, and iPods of late, I think Apple's just going through a "growth spurt." Add to that the wealth of new products and we see a company in the process of "upsizing."
Once they get the infrastructure in place for their larger size, I believe that the rough edges on the products and service will be sanded smooth. While that doesn't help anyone NOW that has an issue, it does mean that, if you keep the faith, things will get better soon.
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suls said 4:28PM on 10-04-2007
OT: isn't the onion more a satire paper than a parody paper?
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Michael Rose said 4:35PM on 10-04-2007
Suls: I'd call it a satirical paper that parodies regular newspapers; similarly, "The Colbert Report" is a satirical TV show that parodies news programs like "The O'Reilly Factor" or "Hannity & Colmes."
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required said 5:02PM on 10-04-2007
This will probably sound weird and ruffle odd feathers, but I saw Apple (and/or my fanaticism) going sour at the dawn of OSX. Now that Classic is in essence gone/dead so is the Apple that made it and this new Apple is barely even a facade of its former self.
Oh well.
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Big John said 6:32PM on 10-04-2007
"GTFO my Mac, switcheurs."
GTFO, old timer who dislikes change.
I'm a switcher (-eur a British spelling? I'm actually interested) and honestly don't see what the big hub-bub is about. Devices (iPods, whatever) have been locked down forever. I couldn't take my Nokia off AT&T a couple years ago and I didn't complain... I knew it going in, so why whine about it? Ignorance isn't an excuse folks.
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Frank said 6:52PM on 10-04-2007
speaking as an old school fanboy (apple 2, w00t!), and a constant apple and mac user since then, i don't see what all the hue and cry is about lately. sure, they've made a couple seemingly bad moves lately, but i'm willing to wait and see how this all plays out, and how the new OS affects the iphone. i've been with apple through far worse times than these! (lookin' at YOU, scully...)
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Dwight Phelps said 10:30PM on 10-04-2007
They won't lose me as a loyalist and customer. So they dropped the iPhone price by $200. This I love. A price DROP incurs bad will. Whatever. They bricked moded iPhones. Again, I have little sympathy (except for those who were merely bricked for apps, not an unlock). So I guess I'm not entirely pleased with the 1.1.1.
In the end, I've been with Apple for a long time, and no matter what anyone tells me about Apple, I have yet to see any other company make a consistently better product. Whether that means software, computers, iPods, or now the iPhone, Apple is at the top of the heap.
Also - as to unlocking: this has always been, to me, the hallmark of the Apple strategy; that their hardware always works best with their own software. It is this conceit that led to a lower market share (no clones) but has also led to the superior quality of Apple products. So whether it's with AT&T or iTunes music, I have no problem with Apple retaining control.
I've gone on far too long, but sufice to say, Apple won't lost me as a customer until another company can show me a consistently better product.
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Nate Orloff said 11:26PM on 10-04-2007
For a group of people that love Apple so much and have been loyal a very long time, they sure are prone to saying, "Goodbye, Apple" within a very short time period. People need to chill and look at the big picture. Apple revolutionized the personal computer. Apple revolutionized the way we listen to music. Yet the first 3 generations of iPod were not successful. Yet they knew they had a great product and it just had to evolve with the times. I think everyone is expecting Apple to pull a revolution out of thin air within a year. Come on guys. When iTunes was released it had MAJOR flaws. Yes, it was better than anything out there. But you people seem to loose faith rather fast. No, the iPhone isn't perfect. But this is brand-new territory for not only Apple, but consumers. There's been nothing like the iPhone. You can hate it or love it, but you have to admit it's extremely unique.
Give Apple some time and get off their backs. I'm going to go and play with the coolest phone I've ever used, even if I can't load 3rd party applications on it right now.
And whoever says they've left the Mac platform behind, I argue that they are paying more attention to it now than 3 years ago. Leopard is fantastic. I'm using the latest build and I am blown away. Tiger was nice but Leopard makes Tiger look tacky and toy-like. 10.5 is the version of Mac OS X that will propel the Macintosh platform back into the big leagues. It's already starting to happen. College students everywhere are using Macs. And guess what happens to students? They grow up. And if they have a good Mac experience they'll stay with Apple their entire lives.
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Simon Arch said 1:02PM on 10-05-2007
"GTFO my Mac, switcheurs."
Ah, the snobbish attitude, the arrogant swagger, the condescending sneer... It's jerks like you who give the rest of us a bad name.
As for me, this long-time Apple fan (been using their computers since the early 80s and have owned nearly a dozen Macs and one Apple 2e in that time) is starting to wonder why he should reward Apple for its behaviour by buying a new iPod (I really want the new nano) and a new iMac or MacBook Pro.
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shawn said 1:31PM on 10-05-2007
"switcheur" is a spin off of "Poseur", which is mostly a British slang term for "obnoxiously fake." HTH
When you waited in line and bought your iPhone, did you know "going in" that Apple would include a private key lock-down scheme to chain your hardware to iTunes? No, you didn't. When, months later, they asked you if you wanted to upgrade to 1.1.1, did they also tell you that doing so would take away any ability you may have of choosing to use other software products to manage your songs? No, they didn't.
I also don't recall seeing any sales literature on the iPod Touch that said "iTunes required".
So, if you based your choice on how Apple did things in the previous versions of the iPod, you might have a reasonable expectation of being able to, say, use GTKpod to load music and videos on your device. If you made that assumption, you were dead wrong.
Why is Apple doing this? Well, it closes the "Analog" hole for digital content, which their content providers like. It makes it possible to lock out 3rd party developers/manufacturers and then charge them an entrance fee to boost revenue. Want access to our customers? Pay us. It creates a new market for hardware with encrypted connections that generate their own profit margins. It makes it possible to control which providers, Internet, Cellular, whatever, that can connect to the hardware and thus charge them an exclusivity fee.
what would happen if they did that to their laptops?
If you're carrying an iPhone or iPod Touch, Starbucks paid Apple for access to you in much the same way telemarketers purchase phone lists from credit card companies and other businesses. But unlike simple phone lists, Apple sells roving points-of-sale. You won't just step into Starbucks for coffee, you have a device in your hand that will enable you to purchase other items in a scarily cash-free sort of way. The iPhone brings impulse shoppers closer to products and Apple sells an access fee for it.
It's brilliant. I'm sure the guys from Redmond are miffed they didn't think of it first.
[In fairness, the Zune is locked down to Windows. It's not like Microsoft is any better.]
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Rich said 2:44PM on 10-05-2007
I won't regret it, and I won't stop loving apple. I'm a mac fan cause I'm in pro audio, and nothing beats a mac. Stability, beauty, and NO VISTA! The grass isn't any greener on the other side hosers. Go borrow a DELL with Vista on it for a week...see if you're still whining then.
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iRobot said 2:04PM on 10-06-2007
Oh good, so there's an ACTUAL date when the "Backlash" is going to happen. I better mark it on the calendar so I'm not out with friends or doing something more important then believing anything written or read by a bunch old men ten years behind the times.
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