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Happy Birthday and Best Wedding Wishes, Woz!

by Steven Sande Aug 9th 2008 at 6:00PM

The WozA very happy birthday to Stephen Gary "Woz" Wozniak, the co-founder of the company we all know and love. No comments about "third founder" Ron Wayne, please. Woz will be 58 on Monday, the 11th, but we wanted to give you the scoop on some other things going on in his life right now, so we're running his birthday greetings early.

Woz's Segway Polo team, the Silicon Valley Aftershocks, is playing in the annual Woz Cup at SegwayFesT 2008 in Indianapolis this weekend. They're currently at 2nd place in the standings.

Woz also took the time on Friday, August 8, 2008, to get married to WozWife 4.0 at SegwayFesT 2008. You will be happy / uninterested / dismayed to know that he did not marry former gal pal Kathy Griffin - the name of the new Mrs. Wozniak is not being released at this time.

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A very happy birthday to Stephen Gary "Woz" Wozniak, the co-founder of the company we all know and love. No comments about "third founder"...
 

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kali

Is it just me or does WOZ look like a pig? I really hope Kathy never slept with him, she can find way more her type....does anyone think she likes girls "just a bit", but what ever floats your boat and that God it is not "Bob's Big Boys"! He sure will never get the chance to "suck it" again w/ her his loss not hers! Hope your happy with your new wife!

August 15 2008 at 4:51 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
jay

i don't care how much money you have woz has. Kathy is WAY OUT OF HIS LEAGUE. See ya at Bobs big boys! creep

August 14 2008 at 6:39 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Simon

I think woz should enter a diet.

happy bday

August 13 2008 at 7:58 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Trace

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080812/NEWS07/808120389/1037/NEWS07 reports that Woz married Janet K. Hill.

August 12 2008 at 12:14 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
SubGenius

Team,

The launch of WozWife 4.0 was not our finest hour. There are several things we could have done better:

- WozWife 4.0 was simply not up to my standards - she clearly needed more time and testing.

- Rather than marry WozWife 4.0 after a single Segway Polo match, we could have dated to begin with, followed by moving in together, followed 30 days later (if things went well with cohabitation) by foreplay, then 30 days later by sex.

- It was a mistake to date WozWife 4.0 at the same time as kathyGriffin, starJones and Bjork. We all had more than enough to do, and WozWife 4.0 could have been delayed without consequence.

We are taking many steps to learn from this experience so that we can make WozWife 5.0 into a trophyWife that my fans will love. One step that I can share with you today is that the WozWife 5.0 search team will now be headed by Larry King. Larry's new title will be ViceWoz and he will now report directly to me.

The WozWife 4.0 episode clearly demonstrates that I have more to learn about human interaction. And learn I will. The vision of WozWife 5.0 is both exciting and ambitious, and we will press on to make it a relationship we are all proud of by the end of this year.

Steve

August 11 2008 at 1:20 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jason Goldsmith

I just saw Woz and I assume WozWife 4.0 riding their Segways in Los Gatos last week.

August 11 2008 at 2:35 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Rowan

Why can't we comment about Ron Wayne?

August 10 2008 at 7:05 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
spacetime

"Woz will be 58 on Monday, the 11th"

it's not good enough anymore to wait until someone's actual birthday.

August 10 2008 at 12:22 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Kweenie

I'm glad Kathy and Woz didn't get married, because really, they didn't get along well enough for that. However, I am slightly dismayed by the fact that he got engaged to WozWife 4.0 only a month after he stopped seeing Kathy. What's up with that? Dude is quite marriage-happy. Maybe this one will work out. We can only hope...

August 10 2008 at 1:46 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Kweenie's comment
Jack

I think Woz is just the kind of bloke who really needs someone to dedicate his love to - because he's a philanthropist in the most literal sense, but prefers to be focused on one person at a time. That could lead to marrying pretty fast, since it'd be more about her accepting his love than anything else. And it could likewise lead to divorce, as the wife realises that though she is loved, she isn't loved to the exclusion of all others.
Well, I hope that Woz finds #4 to truly outshine all the others in his heart.

August 10 2008 at 7:53 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Fred

Thanks for everything Woz!

August 10 2008 at 1:13 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
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