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Weekly World News reports Macworld Expo threatened by death ray app

by Steven Sande Jan 5th 2009 at 2:00PM


Here at TUAW, we feel that it's our duty to bring you important, fast-breaking Apple news. That paragon of excellence in journalistic integrity, the Weekly World News, reported today that Macworld Expo 2009 is threatened by a death ray application for the iPhone. The app (we are unsure at press time whether or not it's available in the App Store) was created by Dr. Michael Heinous of Colorado State University. Dr. Heinous has also apparently moved CSU, normally found in Fort Collins, CO, to Boulder, home of the University of Colorado.

Steve Jobs is reported to have taken time out from constructing an android body that will allow his consciousness to live forever to condemn the rogue app. He's quoted as saying "Apple does not approve of this application. Death ray technology and open source software are dangerous when released to the general public and are not in keeping with our corporate policy."

The report was later updated to note that "Specialized Apple gear, like an iPod equipped gas mask or the iLive full body armor with wifi, is will be available at the convention. Apple's executives will attend the convention via telecom from the iFallout Shelter."

Stay tuned to TUAW for more breaking news about this important, and obviously true, story.

[via Weekly World News]

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Here at TUAW, we feel that it's our duty to bring you important, fast-breaking Apple news. That paragon of excellence in journalistic...
 

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31 Comments

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Vikram

Stupidity! Anyway fun to read!

http://iphonegamereviews.wordpress.com/

January 06 2009 at 8:31 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Andy

This makes me smile.

January 05 2009 at 11:57 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
(01)

When I was a kid we had a great night where my dad picked up a stack of Weekly World News and other similar "publications" and a pile of junk food. Me, him, and my sisters ate candy and laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. I was probably 7 or 8. Good times.

January 05 2009 at 6:19 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
MD

Hey, I'm from Fort Collins!!

January 05 2009 at 4:56 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Eckofish

I'm angry that the free content you provide on daily basis doesn't meet my high standards.

... oh look ... gizmodo posted something about flying pancake cars.

Readers, don't take yourselves so seriously.

Writers, you're doing a great job.

I'm out.

January 05 2009 at 3:44 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
2 replies to Eckofish's comment
frank

quote: "I'm angry that the free content you provide on daily basis doesn't meet my high standards."

i have to agree. it's free, please do not read if you find that it doesn't interest you. and don't give us any line about how your time is so valuable... if it was, you wouldn't be here commenting. there are very few people in the world whose time is actually that valuable, and boy-o, you are not one of them.

January 05 2009 at 6:15 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Frankfurter

@Frank, you don't seem to understand how the interweb works. TUAW exists because of AD REVENUE. If I as a consumer determine that TUAW is starting to suck worse than normal, then I quit visiting the site. When I quit visiting the site, I don't click on their annoying ads, and in turn, they lose revenue.

So, quit sleeping through your business 101 class at the local community college and pay attention. My time -is- that valuable, and where I choose to waste it is up to me. If TUAW chooses to post amateurish content, than I can choose to quit visiting the site. And they can eventually suffer the result of lower site traffic. By my commenting here, I'm trying to do two things - 1, make this a more meaningful site to ME, and 2, help TUAW from losing ad revenue.

That being said, I use Ad Blocker so I don't really give a damn either way.

January 05 2009 at 10:47 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
J

one

January 05 2009 at 3:28 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to J's comment
J

Was supposed to be a correction to a post 22.

January 05 2009 at 3:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
J

Surely the headline "Weekly World News reports..." gave you bunch of whinging commenters some indication that what followed was likely to be far fetched and not even remotely based on fact.

Is skipping on or two posts that much trouble for you?

January 05 2009 at 3:27 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
2 replies to J's comment
J

one or two

January 05 2009 at 3:51 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Frankfurter

Uh, yeah, is actually being coherent much trouble for -you-?

January 05 2009 at 4:21 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Slartibartfast

lol

I like the WWN, it's not as obvious to the dipstick dingbats as the Onion is.

January 05 2009 at 3:16 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
info

LOL ... too funny ... perhaps KRAPPS will post a review once available in the App Store ;)

January 05 2009 at 3:14 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Adrian vG

The writer/writers are bored and drunk, I would say.

January 05 2009 at 3:11 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
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