iPhone user survey gives excuses to dump gadget-undesirable romantic partners

My beloved fiancé,

It is with great sadness that I write you at home to your Gmail account to inform you that I am intending to sell your ring on Ebay and we will part ways. You see, ours was a mixed relationship to begin with. You have your Windows 7, your Linux, your original Android phone from T-Mobile in the UK. I have my iPhone, my iMac and everything good that's Apple (and even a few pieces that aren't).

That's why I know it'll never work out between us. According to a recent study from Retrevo, iPhone owners believe that a "cool gadget" makes a person far more attractive than the measly doctorate you've spent years studying for. Every time we are together, I can't help but shudder over the fact that your Android phone is not of the latest generation.

So forget the four years of history between us, the months of separation due to our being in two different countries, and the fact that you are a wonderful, kind, sweet, and intelligent man with a bright future ahead of you. I have someone else I think the world of, and it is my iPhone. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go watch adult material and post up an ad at Match.com for someone with a 3GS.

Much love,
Your dear departed Megan

P.S. This letter is satire, I'm not dumping my fiance over his gadget preferences. Love you, honey!

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Source: http://www.retrevo.com/content/blog/2009/11/profile-iphone-u…

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Cult of Mac iPhone

My beloved fiancé, It is with great sadness that I write you at home to your Gmail account to inform you that I am intending to...

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krizoitz

Wow, a survey thats negative about Apple product users from a site that is hostile towards Apple? Next you are going to tell me that Rush Limbaugh doesn't like the President!

November 05 2009 at 9:35 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

Allen Klosowski

I'm to the point with the iPhone where it is no longer sexy. Originally attracted to it because it was sleek and new, our relationship has grown cold. She doesn't let me do the things I want to do - like use Google Voice or have Flash in my browser. She isn't reliable, dropping or mangling calls at the worst moment. I'm afraid I'm dumping her this week for her much more open minded friend - Droid.

November 04 2009 at 11:00 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

1 reply to Allen Klosowski's comment

ilkyone

Hah! ROTFLMAO

You forgot the 1337 closing tag:

have fun with the moto build quality of late, too!

November 05 2009 at 2:04 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

Monica

Oh Apple, how you inspire so much with so little. As far as I'm concerned, the new hotness is the Sony Xperia X10 running Android 2.0. The hardware is far far above that of Apple, and far above that of even whatever iPhone 4 will be. As for the software. Apple's end game was always apps, but as far as I know Android now has around 10,000, which is a whole lot more then we need.

OK, don't get upset, it was bound to happen! I can't wait till the X10 comes out so I can lose the iPhone toy and finally get a real phone.

Monica S
Los Angeles Computer Repair
http://www.sebecomputercare.com

November 04 2009 at 7:04 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

starq

" ... everything good that's Apple (and even a few pieces that aren't ..."

So you gave up on Apple Mice too huh Megan?

November 04 2009 at 6:28 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

1 reply to starq's comment

Megan Lavey-Heaton

Yeah, that Mighty Mouse purchase was money that I'll never see again. The one that came with my iMac is now safely hidden.

November 04 2009 at 6:36 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

Ken

Now that's funny! Thanks for ending my Wednesday with a laugh!

November 04 2009 at 5:19 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

Hobbes

Rather than dump them, make them switch to an all Mac goodness. That's what I did with my loved one and friends. Unless, of course, this is just one excuse to dump the person.

November 04 2009 at 5:12 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

Jeff

Is megan dead? I think that's what "departed" means...

November 04 2009 at 5:10 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

1 reply to Jeff's comment

Megan Lavey-Heaton

Congratulations! You've discovered that Megan really passed away three months ago and now all of her posts are being written by zombies.

November 04 2009 at 6:37 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply