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The dumbest iPhone rumor story we've seen yet

Here at TUAW, we're not shy about taking some of the more vapid rumors that circulate through the blogosphere to task. But recently, I stumbled across an article (on Macworld UK no less) which really takes the cake. The article in question is less a rumor roundup than an embarrassingly lazy and overtly transparent exercise in SEO manipulation and link-baiting.

You see, the article in question is (wait for it...) a compilation of rumors, features and release date information regarding the iPhone 7. Yep, you read that the correctly. The iPhone 6 doesn't even officially exist and the bombardment of asinine iPhone 7 rumors has already begun.

Now let's be clear: if someone out there has done some substantive research and/or checked with reliable sources as to what features the iPhone 7 might house, then by all means, bring it on. But in stark contrast, the Macworld piece is so bizarrely empty that I couldn't help but draw attention to what may very well be the most vapid iPhone rumor story we've seen in quite some time.

It's not worth the effort to digest the complete article, so here are a few highlights:

It may seem a little premature, but you'll be surprised at how much speculation there is about the iPhone 7 already.

Correction: It is beyond premature as there is little to no speculation regarding the iPhone 7.

The first thing we'll address here is the name of the next iPhone. If Apple sticks to its traditional naming conventions, then it's more likely that the 2015 iPhone will be called the iPhone 6S instead of the iPhone 7.

Fascinating.

The rest of the article takes us on a mindless stroll through all sorts of topics, from calling the iPhone 7 the iPhone Air to anticipating a release date at WWDC 2015. As you might expect, there is absolutely no sourcing for any of these assertions. Substantive evidence is nowhere to be found as practically of the article's assertions seem to have been quite literally conjured up out of thin air.

Looking closer at Apple's patent portfolio, we can come up with some further iPhone 7 features that could well be on the cards for 2015. Face recognition could be used to unlock the device, and/or the entire display of the iPhone 7 could be a TouchID fingerprint sensor, eliminating the need for a Home Button and making room for a larger display.

Lord have mercy.

The article then lazily claims that the iPhone 7 will run iOS 9 (shocking!) and may sport an A9 processor (no way!).

Right now, it's difficult to know which leaks and snippets of evidence relate to the iPhone 6, and which actually look further ahead to the iPhone 7.

You don't say.

As of September, however, we expect that iPhone 7 rumours will be rife almost immediately after the iPhone 6 is unveiled, so we'll be here with the latest speculation as soon as it arrives.

I don't doubt it, and that last statement is probably the only truthful item in the entire article.

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