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Steve Jobs returns to Apple's Board of Directors after stint at GM
Steve Jobs announced his return to Apple today after a government-mandated stint as CEO of General Motors. Obama White House spokesperson Ruth Christopher stated that since Jobs had saved the American auto company with the introduction of the extremely popular flyCar, he could return to his usual duties. Apple executives released a statement saying they were "overjoyed" to have Jobs back on the job.

New MacBooks and Mac mini appear on Apple Store site
Apple has quietly updated its legacy line of personal computers, adding exabyte molecular hard drives and gigacore nanoprocessors without raising the prices. Fans, unfortunately, were unimpressed with the updates -- "my implants can move faster than that," John Gruber transmitted to his brainload feed, along with a TwitFeeling of disappointment and anger. But Apple defended the updates, stating that the new computers were "perfect for the older member of your family who still need their hardware in the box, rather than out of it." Anyone who has purchased one of the older units in the past six months (if there are any of you out there still buying hardware) can be eligible for an exchange at any Apple center.

MobileMe announces record number of subscribers
Over three billion people have subscribed to Apple's MobileMe service since its reintroduction two years ago, according to a new study transmitted by analysts NPD. Apparently people love the fact that they no longer have to carry an iPhone, a laptop, or any hardware at all, as MobileMe now works directly with tiny processors implanted into your head to bring you brainloads, news, TwitFeelings, and the Webview over the cloud directly into your visual and memory cortexes.

"People really love not having to deal with devices or pesky buttons," said an NPD analyst. "MobileMe allows them to connect directly into the ethersphere, leaving them open to do or think or feel anything while anywhere." The price of the system was also lauded as one of the reasons it's so popular. Apparently after the big economic meltdown in 2010, Apple's customers are thrilled to get a full-service communication package for just over a billion dollars a year. "MobileMe has never been so worth it," said longtime user Dave Caolo.

Apple announces event next Tuesday: "Go ahead. Take a guess, suckers."
Press outlets around the brainsphere have recieved invites from Apple for an event next Tuesday in Chicago's Willis Tower (up until two years ago, events like this were held in San Franscisco at the Moscone Center, but of course the unfortunate earthquakes and flooding in 2014 mean that all of California is currently underwater). Rumors are flying about what might be announced at the event, but Apple hasn't given any indication of what there might be -- in fact, the invite itself features a question mark, and the text: "Take a guess, suckers. You still haven't gotten it right."

Most brainloaders have speculated that the event may finally feature the debut of the long-awaited iTablet, or maybe, finally, the reveal of The Beatles unenhanced audio recordings into the iCollective. Either way, TUAW won't be there: we still haven't gotten an invite. But we will, as usual, be providing Mike Schramm's unfiltered thoughts on the event live as it happens. Remember to make sure your children are unplugged at the time.

Last week, Dave, Christina & Mel joined me for a deep dive on the iPhone app-cracking controversy, with special commentary from guest & veteran developer Kai Cherry. We had a couple of recording hiccups, but you can still download the show from Talkshoe or subscribe in iTunes.

This week, while we keep one eye on the NBA All-Star game, we'll step into the news of the week and take your calls. Since the two big tech announcements of the past 7 days came from non-Apple sources, we welcome back special guest Ross Rubin of the NPD Group to explain the imponderables of the Kindle 2 and Microsoft's decision to jump into retail.

To participate on TalkShoe, you can use the browser-only client, or you can also use the classic TalkShoe Pro Java client; however, for maximum fun, you should call in. For the web UI, just click the "TalkShoe Web" button on our profile page at 10 pm Sunday. To call in on regular phone or VOIP lines (take advantange of your free cellphone weekend minutes if you like): dial (724) 444-7444 and enter our talkcast ID, 45077 -- during the call, you can request to talk by keying in *-8. Talk with you then!

There's word this morning that the NPD Group's latest research shows a surprising finish for the iPhone in the 3rd-quarter sales competition among US cellphones bought by consumers; for the first time in three years, there's a new top model. The Motorola RAZR, long the most popular handset for adult consumers, has fallen before the touchable juggernaut from Cupertino, CA.

Yes, even while the overall consumer unit sales for cellphones declined 15% from the year-ago quarter (ouch!), the iPhone 3G kicked the RAZR out and took over as the #1 most popular handset sold in the US. LG also bypassed Motorola as the #1 overall vendor in consumer phone sales. Even though the RAZR is now offered as a free phone on new contracts with many carriers, those phones still count as sales for the purposes of the NPD analysis -- making the iPhone's ascendancy even more stunning.

"The displacement of the RAZR by the iPhone 3G represents a watershed shift in handset design from fashion to fashionable functionality," said Ross Rubin, director of industry analysis for NPD (and recent TUAW talkcast guest). Four of the five best-selling handsets in the third quarter were optimized for messaging and other advanced Internet features.

The top three phones (the iPhone, the RAZR, and the Blackberry Curve) address some different markets and diverse user needs -- but to have the iPhone on top, even counting in the pent-up demand for a 3G version, is pretty astonishing. Considering that Apple has ramped up from a v1 iPhone which gave up some key functionality in the interest of getting to market in a hurry, and even the 3G model lacks some popular items (copy/paste, tethering), getting to the top of the heap is an achievement worth celebrating.

I love Tom's Hardware -- they're traditionally a PC site (and being a gamer, I've built and run my share of PCs), but like most PC guys, they aren't afraid to lay out the specs and draw direct conclusions from there. And that's exactly what they've done with a very Mac misconception: that Apple computers traditionally cost more than the average PC.

To the average user, that seems true -- if you go to, say, a Best Buy or a Circuit City, and look at the Macs they're selling versus the seemingly equivalent PCs they're selling, then yes, you're seeing higher pricetags on the Apple stuff. But when Tom's lays out what you get out of each computer, the prices are generally the same. In fact, they even build an equivalent Mac Pro, and there's only a $5.67 difference.

Of course, that doesn't stop people from trying to prove otherwise (Apple, you'll note, is not a client of NPD, and they don't actually share which computers they're talking about in the study). And of course, as Tom's Hardware commenters will tell you, there's really no argument for gamers yet, as amazing hardware is nothing when it doesn't run your software the way it should. But it's good to see TH taking a serious, relatively unbiased look at the price differences, and Apple getting a little more love from the traditionally PC crowd.

According to AppleInsider (quoting UBS Investment Research analyst Ben Reitzes), Apple's April retail sales of Mac portables were up 94% year over year in the US. Total Mac unit retail sales were up a 62% overall. This information comes from research firm NPD, showing Apple to be solidly out-performing the overall PC market. With the iPhone around the corner, Leopard in the fall, and presumably a round of hardware updates due across the board, the near term for Apple looks strong.