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Filed under: iPod Family, Odds and ends, Other Events, Steve Jobs, Apple, Found Footage

Found Footage: The reality distortion field, caught on video


Think Apple's products are "really great," "incredible," "amazing," "really easy" to use, "awesome," "terrific," "incredible," "great," and "amazing"? If so, it's probably because Apple told you that's what they were in last week's presentation. The above video's been making the rounds -- it's all of the adjectives cut out of the recent Apple event, and compiled together into a machine-gun lineup of just how Apple sets up their products.

Now, just because these words kept showing up and being used doesn't mean there's some malicious brainwashing going on here -- it's probably true that Apple really does think that their products are "incredible," and "amazing," and "really great." And let's face it, they've never really been real up-to-date on the language anyway. They probably could use a thesaurus: maybe at the next event, the new MacBooks could be "marvelous," "extraordinary," or "glorious."

But it does show you just how much we're shaped by what we see at these events -- Steve's and Apple's enthusiasm for these things is infectious. Apple's products really are amazing, but it doesn't hurt that most of us sit down to watch, read, or listen to an hour or two of them telling us just how "amazing," "incredible," and "really great" they are.

Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Apple

Apple Store team busy installing extra noise, additional funk

As has been widely emailed by our crack readers, the Apple Store is down as of midnight. We'd chalk this up to actual maintenance, but since it is officially Tuesday on the US East Coast, we'll give it the new-product benefit of the doubt. Some items, including Airport Express units and the Mac Mini, have been reported in limited availability mode for a while, so it's possible that we'll see some revisions come daylight. We also have been told that the iPod touch January Update is mysteriously unavailable for purchase at the moment (thanks Will!) so perhaps that's in play as well. Of course, it could just be, you know, maintenance.

The question must be considered: are the Apple Store outages really technically necessary to update the store content, or are they a form of grass-roots marketing that primes the buying audience for something new? After all, Amazon, Dell and Newegg add products constantly and never seem to stall into these extended cones of silence. Is the Tuesday lacuna just a passive-aggressive way to get our attention, like a child throwing a sulk?

Recently, former Apple staffer Chuq von Rospach suggested via a Twitter response to Shawn King that the architecture of the Apple Store really, truly does require extended downtime to make changes to the product lineup. If that's the case, then this is an astonishingly powerful argument for the existence of the RDF -- only a marketing force capable of warping the fabric of space could turn an engineering flaw into self-generating hype with every minor tweak of the product line.

Update 7 am ET:
Looks like it was only maintenance after all.

Thanks to everyone who sent this in!

Filed under: Humor, Apple

The Onion: Apple launches iLaunch

One things about Apple geeks: We're not afraid to make fun of our own fanatical devotion. Take this great article at The Onion which describes the latest Apple product, The "iLaunch:"

"The iLaunch runs Keynote-formatted presentations in high definition through a built-in projector while displaying a 3-D rotating image of the product. Voice-recognition software, Apple's most advanced to date, can recite a speech highlighting the features of the device while injecting several clever digs at competitors..."

I'd like to see a "Reality Distortion Field: Home Edition."

Filed under: iPod Family, iTS, Bad Apple

BBC: "Why I don't believe Steve Jobs"

Bill Thompson doesn't particularly like Apple. In his latest BBC News column, he manages to hit a bunch of anti-Apple notes: Apple is over-covered in by the media, Jobs single-handedly stole attention from the Consumer Electronic Show with the iPhone announcement, that Macs are regularly mentioned in the same breath as the PC, the "reality distortion field", and so forth.

Finally, about halfway down the column, Mr. Thompson makes his point: Apple is bad for refusing to license FairPlay and they are bad for using DRM on tracks that are sold elsewhere without DRM. "Jobs also said that Apple would stop using DRM in an instant if they could...I don't believe him."

He does, however, believe reports that EMI is willing to set up stores without DRM despite any official announcement and he believes that Jobs will be crushed under foot by "those who really understand the music business and didn't sell their souls to the record companies back in the days when they believed in DRM."

I personally think that non-DRM is the way of the future. I also agree with Mr. Thomson's suggestion that removing DRM from sales will open up digital downloads to a much bigger audience of consumers, who are put off by the "only plays on iPods and iTunes" restrictions. I'm just not sure that Apple will be crushed under foot to get there.

Filed under: Macworld, Analysis / Opinion, Steve Jobs, iPhone

Analysis: Phone Keyboards - Out of the RDF



I guess I'm as susceptible to the famed Steve Jobs "Reality Distortion Field" as the next guy, but even during my initial viewing of the Keynote there was one thing that really bugged me: Jobs' claims about smartphone hardware keyboards. He said:

"the problem with them is... they all have these keyboards that are there whether you need them or not.." Further, if the manufacturer happens to "think of a great idea six months from now you can't run around and add a button to these things; they're already shipped."

Hmm...

Continue readingAnalysis: Phone Keyboards - Out of the RDF

Filed under: Macworld, Analysis / Opinion, Surveys and Polls

Macworld 2006 Stevenote: boon or bust?



The dust has cleared, Steve's Reality Distortion Field faded away, and the Keynote is a mere memory. Now is the right time to ask you, our dear readers, if you thought this keynote was great or a yawn. On the showfloor reaction seems to be mixed, but I would have to say that more people are excited than now, how about yourself?

I've got your Reality Distortion Field right here

My new favorite Mock Apple Web Page: Reality Distortion Field. Damn them for making the entire page an image! How am I supposed to gratify myself if I can't keep adding more G5 minis and iPod monos into my shopping cart???

G5 mini mockup

BTW - did you know that "reality-distortion field" is actually an entry at Dictionary.com with a specific reference to Steve Jobs? Does anyone know exactly who first used the phrase to refer to Jobs? I know Michael Malone uses it often in his book, Infinite Loop, but it was coined long before that.

[thanks to Robert for the tip]

Tip of the Day

F11 moves all your windows off the screen so you can quickly glance at your desktop. F10 shows you every open window in an application. F9 shows every open window for every application that isn't hidden or in the dock.


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